Is He Really Capable of Watching One Poop?

I need a bumper sticker that reads "I Survived Transylvania 6-5000!" And just when I thought Jeff Goldblum couldn't stoop any lower than Earth Girls Are Easy...

Moral Dilemma

Whenever I stumble across a deformed peanut M&M I am faced with the dilemma: should I, or should I not eat it?

Key To a Man's Heart

A big bag of Dorito chips.

Mission Improbable

Just sitting here with Mattski on New Year's Eve wondering if this will be the year he will grab me at midnight and plant a big one on me...

Doppleganger

This M&M dispenser I found lying around the house bears a striking resemblance to Tom Servo.

Interesting Converstations

Contains adult content. Read at your own risk. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Instance 1:
*Dogs bark*
Sister: Did you hear the dogs bark?
Mom: I hope it's those kids humping my reindeer!
Me: Don't you mean making your reindeer hump?
*Other things said*
*Laughter interspersed throughout conversation*

Instance 2:
*Playing The Game of Things*
Card Drawn: Things you would do if you were the opposite sex for a day.
My Response: Play with my boobs!
Brother's Response: Play with my boobies!
Sister: Do guys think girls just play with their boobies all day? Because they don't!
*Other things said*
*Laughter interspersed throughout conversation*

ye olde whalebone underwears

some of my movie choices of the last several days (ie, Stagecoach and Young Victoria) have me wondering if ANYONE back in the day took any issue with the fact that pregnant women seemed to just keep on with the corsets. staggering that you wouldn't jump on an excuse like that.

Not So Deep, Not So Thought Provoking Question

Did the movie Muppets Take Manhattan precede the cartoon Muppet Babies? Or did the cartoon Muppet Babies precede the movie Muppets Take Manhattan?

Speaking of Muppets Take Manhattan... Seeing Kermit the Frog sprawled out on the asphalt after being hit by a taxi was to me a bit anticlimactic.

Happy Holidays!

From all of us here to our handful of faithful followers: We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Your comments are always very appreciated and I am convinced we have the best small following ever!

How To Describe a 3D Movie

It's a lot like looking into a View Master.

Sweet Zucchini Pie!

Why on earth would an old person want to be cast in a role as an old person in their death bed? Seeing as that will probably be them shortly anyway, I'd think it ought to be really depressing.

Donner Party

If I was forced to eat another human being to survive, I'd at least joke about it a little bit. Try and lighten the mood.

Music Rant #2

I used to think The Get Up Kids would be just fine with Matt Pryor alone. But after hearing their new song "Automatic," I realize how important it is that Jim Suptic is there to mix things up. It's not like The Goo Goo Dolls who could pull it off with just Rzeznik. Suptic is a talented artist and a vital part in making the Kids what they are today.

I Found This Hammer at Work

I imagine if Super Mario Brothers was real, this is what those hammers being hurled from those pesky, little turtles would look like.

He Saw What?

If only the kid who saw mommy kissing Santa Claus knew. Instead he (or she) is left to live out the remainder of his (or her) childhood in question of her fidelity; afraid to say anything to Dad for fear he'd up and leave Mom. Well Mom... Congratulations! You just screwed up your child's life. Wouldn't want that on my conscience.

Sam Rockwell vs. Sam Rockwell

Only on the moon. Where anything is possible.

Call Me Cheesy

But I have this fake fireplace simulator on my Wii and I love it! I just turn it on at night before I go to bed and pretend I'm falling asleep to the crackling of a real fire. Everyone should own one.

Music Rant #1

Music ADD. Some people are so intent on listening to the latest radio hit that they are quick to toss aside the old without second thought. I blame the source of this condition on the music industry. Buying into this ideal is exactly what they want because it is a sure fix for getting rich quick. They push out one hit after the other, endorsing and playing the crap out of it before releasing the next new single that is almost assuredly written by anyone but the artist (essentially milking a song for all it's worth then leaving it on the side of the road to die). These songs - as catchy as they may be sometimes - cease to exist because they have no substance and get old very fast. This vicious cycle is essentially breeding a younger generation of music ADD kids and rescinding the integrity of pop as we once knew it back in the 60's, 70's, and even 80's - when a radio hit actually stood for something.

Definition

Since the question was brought up the other day...

Jejune cogitation: A carefully considered thought or reflection without significance.

Untitled

at what point in the year is an acceptable time to start listening to christmas music during every waking moment-
a) if you're a girl?
b) if you're a boy?
c) if you're a single girl with lots of kitty cats?

Coming Soon!

Music rants.

Labyrinth

I could use a goblin dance party in my bedroom right about now... Ludo! I need you!

[and now I wait]

Dang! It didn't work.

Cheese Burger

The thought reminds me of a time when I observed an Indian Hindu dude bring his burger up to the front counter. He explains to the cashier that he ordered a cheese burger and wonders why it has a beef patty on it and she just doesn't get it. He grows annoyed... She grows annoyed... End result. The guy get's a plain bun with just a slice of cheese on it.

Animal Abuse Commercials

They always use slow panning and zooming techniques on puppies and kittens. No one wants to see a grown up dog or cat, because they just wouldn't appear as sad and helpless. I suppose this is how they get their donations.

Similarities

As I sat down and watched the acclaimed 2009 Norwegian horror film Skjult (aka Hidden) the other day, I couldn't help thinking to myself that the waterfall and cliff looked familiar. But where had I seen it before? That's when it hit me. First Blood. I'm pretty sure it's the exact same cliff Rambo jumped from - or fell off of... Been awhile since I've seen it. A confirmation of this fact would be much appreciated.