What I Do Know

There is no problem that staring at a lake cannot solve.

The Tale of the Twins and the Terrible Uncle

Once upon a time Carson and Ashlyn wandered off and Uncle Matt set out to find them. He discovered them trying to figure out how to turn on the treadmill so he thought, "I will turn it on for them so that they can play on it a little bit. Nothing could possibly go wrong." To his surprise - and much to his dismay - poor Ashlyn's hand got sucked under the treadmill. It took him a few moments to figure out why she was crying. Fortunately, he was able to pry her hand loose; but not without it leaving a massive burn on her index finger. Thank goodness for mothers who manage to stay calm in situations like this. In his state of panic and shock, he wasn't sure what to do. Her mother Julie and Grandma attended to the wound while he sat back and watched. He felt like the worst uncle in the world in that moment, but fortunately Ashlyn would be quick to forgive after the incident.

(Carson was not harmed. But did start fake crying in hopes to gain an equal amount of attention as his older sister.)

What If It's All In My Head?

What if...

All I Wanted Was the Best for Our Lives My Dear

My blogging has slowed down exponentially over the last few weeks. I feel my mind has been functioning slower than normal, therefore resulting in a lack of random thoughts that I deem worthy to make known to the public. Hopefully things will pick up here again soon. But until then, I can't say really. I'm sure you'll all find a way to cope.

Blogger.com

Why do you make it so hard to upload stinkin' pictures and wrap the text how I'd like around it?

For Troy

On the left... Ben Gibbard (Death Cab For Cutie and The Postal Service).

On the right... Adam Young (Owl City).

Now do you believe me?

Question of the Day

At which point does a ledge become a cliff?

Conversations You Don't Want People to Hear When They Walk By

"So are you going to get yourself a Worgen?" Proceeded by sentences filled with the word "gangkeyed."

This Intuition Limps with the Cane of Suspicion

Anyone who may wish to see a fat man donning spandex who's capable of firing dancers in freaky costumes from his nipples, may want to click here.

Road Etiquette

Going the speed limit when using the fast lane to pass someone on the right should be illegal.

Grateful To Be Alive

It is always humbling for me to read an obituary of someone younger.

What is This!? A School for Ants?

They say ants can lift 5 times their body weight. So why does it seem that every time I see a dead ant, 2 or 3 of those little buggers are struggling to drag just one dilapidated exoskeleton. Is one doing all the work while the others simply follow and mourn the death of a fellow slave-driven colleague? Or have we been lied to all our lives, somehow finding ourselves immersed in a vast conspiracy involving the mainstream world of science and a couple of Scandinavian dwarfs?

Containing Something Secretly

I couldn't help but notice today in the men's bathroom that the guy washing his hands next to me had a prosthetic hand. But he was only washing his one real hand. That got me thinking a little bit... Is it not considered unsanitary to avoid washing a fake hand after going to the bathroom? I honestly do not know.

The Burbs

Two words: great movie!

Quatchi

I remember vividly the day I picked up a Quatchi doll. I was sorting through them in an attempt to pick out the best one, when a ten year old girl walked up beside me. She told her mom that she wanted one, and her mom responded by saying she was too old for things like that and that she needed to grow up. All I could do really was just stand there and soak it all in with a Quatchi doll in hand. I decided to purchase the thing anyway where he currently resides on the dash of my car. He's cool.

On a Brighter Note

I caught a fish with my fly rod today! I was pretty stoked.

Last Night Was Something Else

Why did I stay up and entertain my roommate's guests until four while he went to bed? I'm not sure, but I'm tired. It's was a night full of beer, Contra, beer, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out, more beer, Mario Kart 64, and - oh yeah - did I mention beer? (I did not partake of the abundant, readily-available alcohol... No worries there.) I just don't see why I should have been the one to have to stay up with them. They were his guests.

The Farming Game 2

As planned, we met together on Sunday afternoon to finish our epic battle for farming domination. Needless to say, I did not win. My brother did... About three minutes into it.

The Farming Game

I never knew how addicting this board game could be. This was us fifty 80's songs later at 2 in the morning, and still no decisive winner. We decided it would be best to postpone the game until tomorrow (or today, depending on what way you look at it). My fruit orchards haven't shelled out as much as I had hoped. In fact, they've really just screwed me over up to this point.

Decision of Epic Proportions

Green Day's International Superhits! or Our Lady Peace's A Decade? I think I'm going to have to go with Our Lady Peace on this one.

Everyone's Favorite Youth Group, The Get Up Kids

Several years ago, I told Matt Pryor at a New Amsterdams' concert that I missed The Get Up Kids. He obviously took it to heart (or at least I'd like to think so), because last night I had the opportunity of seeing TGUK in all their glory as they've been touring the nation in celebration of the 10-year anniversary of Something to Write Home About (definitely in my Top 5 albums of all time). And it was awesome! More than half of the show was filled with a combination of songs from Something To Write Home About and Four Minute Mile. They didn't play a whole lot of their newer stuff, but I can't complain (not that the newer material is bad, it's just not as fun to listen, sing, and dance along to). So all-in-all it was a good night. If only they had played "Is There a Way Out." That would have just put the icing on an already delectible cake.

How Can You Tell If a Girl is Wearing Too Much Perfume?

When you cross paths perpendicular to her a good 15 ft or so behind and can still smell the trail of whatever that passionate fragance is that she has decided to wear. My experience was more like a trailing 45 degree path crossing... But it's the same idea.

My Glasses 2

Today I nearly flooded the water lab after flipping the pump switch and opening the valve up all the way. As my group was shouting to turn it down a professor came walking by. He just gave us all that look of, "What the heck are you guys doing!?" I felt pretty safe though, because I was wearing my glasses. They make me look smart. If anything he probably thought, "Well that kid in the glasses probably knows what he's doing, so I won't say anything."

A Cinderella Story

Has anyone but me ever noticed that the dude who plays Austin Aimes in the Hillary Duff version of Cinderella (the star quarterback who was supposed to go on to play at USC) looks an awful lot like the current starting quarterback of USC, Matt Barkley? Now that's what I call irony.

I Promise Never to Make Fun of Lisps Again

Why is it that every time I make fun of someone's lisp, that person ends up being deaf?

Best Quote Ever

"You can't believe everything you read on the internet. That's how World War I got started." So random.

Christian Bale

Before he was Batman... Before he was Quin Abercromby... Before he was Laurie even... He was Jack 'Cowboy' Kelley.

Dear Squirel Who Lives in the Fourth Tree by the Third Lampost from the Bottom of the Hill

What do you have to prove to me or anyone else for that matter? I couldn't help but ask myself this as I was walked up the steps of Old Main the other day and you came rocketing toward me from your tree, stopping on the curb along side me; your eyes intently locked on me, mine on you. Did you come down from your tree to challenge me for trespassing on your territory? Does it make you feel tough to watch me pass on by and do nothing? Did you feel like the bigger man in this situation? Well you shouldn't. I should for not kicking you halfway across the hill when you probably deserved it. You just remember that.

People Who Need to Blog More Often

Cami and Emily. Shame on you both! Especially you Emily. Your blogs are always so random and great. So if either of you are reading this, I suggest you start blogging. Or else! Actually... The "Or else!" is nothing more than an empty threat. But still...

The Best of ONN

To those of you who are familiar with the Onion News Network, you may or may not consider it just as credible -- if not reliable as well -- as some of those other major news networks out there cycling through the digital airwaves (no longer analog unfortunately). This is why I've decided to provide you with links to what I think are the best ONN wepisodes I've seen thus far:

1. Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?

2. Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids

3. Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Again

4. Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys

Enjoy everyone!

Some Soundly Advice 2

It's a simple equation: Too Much Captain Crunch at One Time = The Tearing of the Roof of the Mouth = BAD.

Susanna Hoffs

I couldn't resist. She was gorgeous even then with the nappy 80's do (which was no easy feat by any means); she's gorgeous today still. What's her secret? I personally believe she stumbled upon the fountain of youth.

Celebrating My 25th Blog!!!

I've decided to celebrate 25 blogs of blogging excellence, with a blog to commemorate my 25th blog. Even if this was a bad idea, there's no turning back now. Comingtoyaaaahaaaa!

I Burnt My Left Index Finger Again!

This time peeling back the skin of some boiled Bratwurst.

Some Soundly Advice

When eating fresh out of the oven Cheese Pull-Aparts from the Pie, if the hot grease from the cheese happens to drip onto your left index finger, don't just let it fester there. Take the time to wipe it off and wash it down with cold water if necessary.

Humility and Impartiality - Assuming Jane Austin's Intent of the Word Prejudice was Geared Toward Bias

When was the exact moment that Mr. Darcy realized that he was falling for Miss Elizabeth? Was it when he first laid eyes on her? When he told Bingley that the eldest Miss Bennet was the only good looking girl at the ball, was he simply just fronting? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? I'm afraid one's chances of knowing the answer to either are one and the same.

When We Dance It Looks Just Like Fire

There's the sound of sirens again. Logan Cops skeeve.

Home Sweet Home

In the past week, I have been in sleeping limbo. Saturday it was Vancouver Canada on a floor. Monday and Tuesday Seattle (One of those nights spent sleeping on the floor as well). Wednesday/Thursday Spokane, WA. Friday, a Moose Mountain Lodge in the mountains of Utah and a hammock. I'm beat from lack of a good night's sleep.

Peter Sellers

It's just past midnight, and I can't help but feel like I'm in a laundry mat. As I wait for my clothes to finish drying (resulting in what I hope will lead to an end in packing), I reflect on the events that transpired throughout the day; some of puzzlement, fun filled activities, and heartbreak. But more importantly... Which t.v. dinner is best: Spaghetti and Meatballs or Turkey Meal? And will the slug I found in our kitchen and swept outside with a broom survive?

Running With Scissors Down the Stairs

I just now realize -- after just having participated in the above mentioned activity -- that it's probably not the smartest idea.

Hit the One in the Middle

Rocky IV is a great movie! But let us not forget about Rocky Balboa's infamous speech that played a major role in bringing down the iron curtain just years later resulting in the Soviet Union's demise (Guess I should have paid more attention in History class because I obviously missed that one). What a speech! Seriously. Where would the world be today without it?

One of Life's Little Secrets

What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Canada

America's top hat. Or at least that's what some might say. I'll never quite figure out the likes of zed, chesterfield, and wash room. And what's the deal with the green flashing traffic lights? Finally, the Queen of England. Let her go. Just let her go.

Lament

Oh shins! That doth now hurt! Why did I smack thee into the bedside? Twas an accident. Wilt thou ever recover?

You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

The Beatles. A band that I'd probably have more respect for if they didn't sell out their original drummer Pete Best for whatever reason unbeknownst to the general public. Paul claims it was because they were impressed with Ringo Starr's druming. Seriously!? Come on! Everyone knows that Ringo's lack of talent makes him arguably the worst drummer to walk planet Earth.

Yearning

I've had this sudden urge to listen to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack all day today, but now that I'm finally home, that desire has seemingly disappeared. Maybe I'll force myself to listen to it before I go to bed tonight.

Somewhere Only We Know

I think Lifehouse does an awesome job covering this gem originally released by Keane. Check it out for yourselves.

Just Some Kids From Seattle With a Little Time on Their Hands

On August 3rd, 2009, six hoodlums (who are most assuredly never up to any good) would assemble together with nothing but pizza, some Root bear, Super Mario Brothers 1, 2, and 3 and one common goal: to beat the three games back to back in one night. Needless to say, the daunting task in which they chose to undertake was indeed a success and completed in just under 3-1/2 hours.

I Ain't Fraid of No Ghosts

I'd hate to be the person in Ghosbusters that had to reorganize the card catalog and clean up the mess that ghost made in the Library.

Thesaurus

I remember the first time I used a Thesaurus. It was in sixth grade that I was introduced to one, and I was so excited about making my sentences sound intellectual that I would choose the wrong synonym. When I got my papers back, written on them -- in red ink -- would be something like, "This word doesn't fit with this sentence." Fortunately, I've learned since to cross reference words I'm not sure about with its definition from a dictionary. Why didn't they just tell me to do that in the first place? Or maybe they did...

Gold? Are You Serious!?

X-Games 15, Moto Best Trick, Loza. Did the judges not see X-Games 14? How can they justify giving someone a gold for the exact same trick that person threw down last year for gold? Lame.

2009 Audi Cup

Manchester United vs. FC Bayern Munich. Who would take home the cup? That's right! Munich. Suck it Russel!

Being Greatful for What I Have

I saw a man in the city today sifting through trash cans looking for food.

Donkey Kong

Billy Mitchell. I'm pretty sure if you looked up the word douche bag in the dictionary, you would see his picture. This guy is the epitome of its meaning. I sit here just hoping one day they'll either catch this guy in a lie, or that Steve Wiebe will crush his score into the ground to regain the Donkey Kong world title. He deserves it. After all, what's a Donkey Kong Jr. world record good for without the predecessor?

Kelly Clarkson

I was watching a music video from Kelly Clarkson this morning. Apparently she doesn't hook up, but likes to take things slow instead. Hmmmmm.... In-ter-es-ting.

My Glasses

I lost my old glasses. I don't know where they went. To replace them, I found a pair of cool vintage looking ones with the intention of taking them into a store and getting them fitted to match my prescription. But I don't know of any shop willing to do that and can't foresee that happening any time soon. I can't complain. At least they protect my eyes from the sun's harmful UV rays.

Determined To Move On

Voxtrot. A group from Austin, TX. I heard them for the first time tonight. I like them a lot. The last time I liked a group so much upon hearing them for the first time was At the Drive-In. ATDI reminds me of what was possibly the best summer of my life. It was good. Listening to Voxtrot makes me happy. For the first time, I realize it's time to move on. I'm beginning to come to terms with that; to accept it. And Voxtrot will be my reminder of that.