Is He Really Capable of Watching One Poop?

I need a bumper sticker that reads "I Survived Transylvania 6-5000!" And just when I thought Jeff Goldblum couldn't stoop any lower than Earth Girls Are Easy...

Moral Dilemma

Whenever I stumble across a deformed peanut M&M I am faced with the dilemma: should I, or should I not eat it?

Key To a Man's Heart

A big bag of Dorito chips.